Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
