The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
