Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
