i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
