I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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