hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize