Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
