Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
