First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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