I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
