i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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