Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
