I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
