Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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