38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
