is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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