i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
