Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
