I wish I could teleport
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
