White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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