Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
