i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
