R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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