Soap is not a condiment
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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