is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
