you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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