Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
