Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
