I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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