imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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