What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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