it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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