I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
MIDGETS
????
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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