It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My ass is underappreciated
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
