my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
