he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
