dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize