You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize