I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
only if we run a train.
done.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
