He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
