Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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