I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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