i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize