I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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