Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
either way he was missing a nipple.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
