I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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