No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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