He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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