woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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