her vagine was all disorganized.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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