So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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