Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
