the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
