I heard we made out
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
