His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
