Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
