Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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