Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
