just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize