I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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