Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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