And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i don't like sucking hair
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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