Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
