These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The police scanner is talking about you again....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
