If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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