The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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