I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
