You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
