i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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