he wants to bone in the snuggie
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
