at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
