You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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