Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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