first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
barbara walters just said penis...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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