When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
