I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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