trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
