Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
